# 18 THE ODDIBLES- ROUND 2

Unang hagupit!

A PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. Mag-Side B na lang tayo.

Iba talaga ang paggawa natin ng mga paalala. Kung ikaw ay may isang negosyo na balak mong palakihin dapat may basics ka sa paglingkod sa iyong mahal na customer. Tulad ko, hindi ko kayo pinababayaan. Kayo’y nalilibang sa aking establishment.

Sa aming pagpunta sa videoke sa tapat ng mahal kong De La Salle, lalo akong naging ganado sa pag-awit ng Basil Valdez ng masilayan ko ang mga ito:

TAMA NGA NAMAN. Makunsensya naman kayong mga miron.

Kahit nga sa pagbuklat ng songbook, may mga mahalagang paalala ang management. Madaming bawal. Bawal ang…

NO THONGS ALLOWED. At may drawing pa!

Hindi naman siguro sila maglalagay ng mga ganung paanyaya kung walang sumuway sa kanilang patakaran. Marami lang kasing ubod ng tanga o bastos.

Ayos din eh.

Kumain kami sa Jollibee ng nanay ko, ilang linggong lumipas. Napansin ko lang na parang sumusuray ang paglakad ng pulang bubuyog na iyon. Biro mo namang…

SUMAYAW SA TABLE! To the tune of Chocolate.

Maganda sanang lagyan ng bente pesos ang kanyang magandang tuxedo.

Ang saya ng buhay. Iba ka talaga, Pinoy.

# 17 HOW TO BE GREAT FILIPINOS…

found in Francis Magalona’s award-winning piece. This song makes him our modern-day prophet.

Mga Kababayan

Mga kababayan ko
dapat na malaman niyo
Bilib ako sa kulay ko
Ako ay Pilipino
Kung may itim o may puti
Mayroon namang kayumanggi

the showroom manager comments (TSMC): Be proud. We can never black or white. Unique tayo.We are brown plus we take a bath regularly. Mabango tayo. Amoy pa lang, lamang na tayo.

Isipin mo na kaya mong abutin
Ang iyong minimithi

TSMC: Think positive and believe in the Filipino.

Dapat magsumikap at
nang tayo’y di maghirap
Ang trabaho mo pagbutihin mo

TSMC: That, my friends, is the WINNING FORMULA. Where else do we start in achieving greater things?

Dahil kung gusto mo ay kaya mo
Kung mo ay kaya niya
At kaya nating dalawa

TSMC: Work hard. Play hard. One Team Tayo!

Magaling ang atin iyan ang laging iisipin
Ang pag-asenso’y mararating
kung handa kang tiisin ang hirap at pagod.

TSMC: We have start believing in ourselves. That we are the best and we have to be strong enough to face whatever’s thrown at us.

YO! Word to your mother from the Man from Manila.

Sa problema, huwag kang malunod umahon ka.
Huwag lumubog pagkat ginhawa naman ang susunod
Iwasan mo ang pag-inggit ang sa iba’y ibig mong makamit.
Dapat nga ika’y matuwa sa napala ng iyong kapatid.

TSMC: This is a sickness found in each of us. Parang nasa DNA na sa ating mga Pinoy. This is our greatest enemy. It’s what prevents us from reaching our rightful place in the stars.

Ibig kong ipabatid na lahat tayo ay kapit-bisig.

TSMC: So we have to unite. Isantabi ang pansariling interes at tignan ang kapakanan ng bansa.

Respetuhin natin ang ating ina
Ilaw siya ng tahanan
Bigyang galang ang ama at ang payo nya ang susundan

TSMC: Our mission begins at home. Love our parents…

At sa magkakapatid kailangan ay magmahalan
dapat lang ay pag-usapan ang hindi nauunawaan.

TSMC: Love our siblings and our neighbors. The way to settle our differences is to talk and…

Huwag takasan ang pagkukulang
Kasalanan ay panagutan
Magmalinis ay iwasan
Nakakainis marumi din naman

face our responsibilities and be truthful in our dealings with every man.

Ang magkaaway ipagbati
Gumitna ka at huwag kumampi

TSMC: Tunay nga naman. Imbes na ipagsabong ang magkaaway, dapat peace tayo.

Lahat tayo’y magkakapatid anumang mali
Ay ituwid
Magdasal sa Diyos maykapal
Maging banal at huwag hangal

TSMC: Palaging may religious element ang buhay nating mga Pinoy. Hindi ‘yun mawawala kahit na sinabi nino mang hindi siya naniniwala sa Diyos. Malalim nang nakabaon sa ating isip ang Maykapal. Kaya’t dapat lang.

Itong tula ay alay ko sa bayan ko at sa buong mundo.

TSMC: And we share this message to the world. We are the world.

# 16 THE ODDIBLES- ROUND 1

I’m just too happy to share with you, my beloved audience, the oddities we often tend to miss in our daily lives. Ladies and gents, I give you a rare selection of pictures that gives me goosebumps.

On to the floorshow…

BELIEVE THEM LABELS. What you see is what you put into your stomach.
If we want to get our cookies, we look at what’s printed on the label but if we want milk, we’d have to get it from an Am-boy, the Boy-milk Wonder.

A SHAQ-ING DISCOVERY. Overpaid super athlete being maltreated by new team.
Just saw Shaq in Glorietta last Friday and he can still manage to smile in his new uniform.

A STIFF TOY. You just have to press my knob to play with me.
A sick sick toy. This was taken when Chengwa, my little brother, and I went to Migmog’s place. It’s one of those creepy toys that was supposed to be a big hit to girls ages 12 and above.

THE REAL ENERGY DRINK. Those guys in HK sure know their stuff.
Tara at tangkilin ang pampalakas na inumin, para sa inyo’y LIBOGEN! LIBOGEN GETS YOU GOING! TENG!

I was with bebe in Southmall a few months ago for shopping. We went inside Free Way and while I was sitting on the boyfriend seat, I chanced upon this gem…

FAKIBASA NGA FLIS. The mission-vision of Pree Way.

In advertising, IMAGE IS EVERYTHING to a brand.

HI, I’M BILLY. SO… The Ultimate Image Model.
Sana ako na lang ang ginawang modelo. Sun-Joy’s market is Pinoy and they need somebody who’s Pinoy enough to demolish Hanes.

As testament to my ability of fulfilling the role needed as Sun-Joy’s Image Model, I have been a loyal endorser of this comfortable underwear brand for more than four friggin’ years.

At pwede din naman akong mag-pose ng ganun ah.

#15 DINNER

The most important part of every trip.

We haven’t had dinner by the beach and good thing that Murell, one of the very attentive staff of the resort, mentioned that all we have to do is ask them to setup.
Whoah. It’s my first time to have dinner with bebe by the beach. Rarely do we have this chance so we made the most out of it. The setup goes like…

May candle light. Yihee.

May champagne.

And Murell mentioned that they also serve lobster. MMMMMMMM….

The resort’s food was great! And it goes to show that your showroom manager needs to shed some pounds after all this loaded eating for the past four months.

155 POUNDS AND COUNTING. Somebody please stop me.

AAAAWWW… Somebody play that Kenny G soooong…Not!

OHHHH KAY SARAP! A dinner with my bebe.

Btw, we ate a pregnant lobster. Ang sama naman. We just learned it from one of the hotel staff. She explained that the fisherman who caught our dinner was eager to make quick bucks and the resort didn’t have enough time to look for another supplier.

But I didn’t feel any guilt. Masarap talaga. And I’m salivating while I’m typing this. Graaaaaahhhkkhhhh (Ala Homer Simpson).

WE’LL BE BACK. Thank you for the memories!

# 14 A PIECE OF PARADISE FOR THREE DAYS

Had a blast last weekend with my bebe

ANG KULPRIT. A big thanks to her for this trip.

It was my first time to see Palawan and I really didn’t expect that Club Paradise would truly look awesome.

Located in the island of Coron, Dimakya Island a.k.a. Club Paradise is a trip worth your money. The place is great, the food is delicious, and the customer service you’d get from its staff is amazing. Here are some pics to tell half of my story:

A SMALL PLANE. The official mode of transportation to get to Busuanga.

The weather was unpredictable. According to the forecast, there will be scattered rainshowers in Luzon and Palawan. I didn’t believe it at first but…

THE BLUE GLOOM. Next time, believe the weather forecast.

BEBE AGAINST THE BEACH. Walang makakapagpigil sa akin!

SIGH. Sayang ang fisherman’s hat ni Fre.

We thought that it would drizzle for the entire afternoon so we decided to rest for a while. Within a few a hours, here come’s the sun.

SUN, SUN, SUN, HERE WE COME. Medyo pababa na ang haring araw.

LET’S SHARE A REFRESHING FEELING. A cool drink, waves, water, sand, sun, etc.

The following day was more exciting. We celebrated our 46th month Open up your heart…

AND LET THE SUNSHINE IN. Uuuuuy! Topless!

MY FAVORITE PICTURE. Thank you, Lord!

HERE’S SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES. Gardo Versoza in the hauuuz!!!

I THINK THAT I SHALL NEVER SEE.

SUNSET READ. Photo taken by bebe.

A GOLDEN JUBILEE. Another photo taken by bebe.

MAGANDA PALA ANG PILIPINAS.

More to come…

# 12 AYAYAYAY IPOD!

After a very long absence in his favorite domain, your showroom manager a.k.a. “Mr. Crush Ang Bayan ‘98” has finally returned. And he has tons of stuff to make kwento for the last two months. But first, he’d like to share his happiness with this newfound toy that he just gifted his self last April…

WE ARE THE WOOOORLD! The showroom manager internalizing the hit song.

After two years of showing that he is an office drone, the showroom manager has finally been promoted! To what, you ask? To a Level 5 office drone! Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

Thanks be to God! Hallelujiah!

Clearly, it was hubris that drove him to get this 20 GB MP3 Player (Note: There was no significant increase in the showroom manager’s paycheck!). It took a great deal of justification (Gagamitin ko sa long trip; Kelangan ko pag iniintay ko si bebe; Hindi ko na dapat magdala ng sangkaterbang CDs; May flash disk na rin ako, ‘di ba?; Long payment terms, long payment terms; etc.) before he succumbed to Mr. Jobs’ temptation.

And so far, he is damn happy about this mighty fine gadget. He has loaded all of the sounds he wanted to hear sans the yapping DJs. However, his busy schedule has only allowed him to put 930 songs in his perfectly wonderful music collection.

TRIVIA: Not near a fraction of those uploaded songs were heard by the showroom manager since he got his IPod but he doesn’t mind at all.

It’s never really easy…

I have a total of fifteen days left before my last day here at the office. As with any change that will have a drastic effect on my life, I am suffering a plethora of emotions. Mostly because I hate not being in control and partly because I’m a pessimistic worry-wart. So sue me.

What I’ll be missing:

-my workstation

-my “Model Employee Awardee” officemates

-making everyone else’s life a living hell
What I will most definitely NOT be missing:

-work
-my OTHER officemate and her evil minions